Keep Going

I’ve been through many trials, struggles and tests over the years.  My health, relationships, work—many things have been removed from my life and any ONE could be the thing to stop me from trying.  When faced with these seemingly insurmountable situations I’ve cried, prayed, agonized, hollered, questioned and so many more reactions…even thinking that I’d do everyone a favor and not exist…

The thing is, when you’ve given your heart to God, there is a part of you that He always is…no matter what you go through.  As I sit here, waiting once again for an answer from the Lord, I’ve had my down moments and must admit that I’m feeling a bit low even now; but the constant in my life is the deep down, dogged belief that God is in control and that He will restore/resolve whatever is going on in my life.

Nope—I have NO answers right now and I have no idea how things will work out:  I just know that they will.  THIS is what keeps me going.  I’m STILL looking for full time work, yet God has been working on me to take a step in a direction that I would’ve NEVER considered…I’m praying and researching and looking for validation, so if you hear from me understand that I’m trying to do as God is moving me to do.

If you are in a limbo space in life and haven’t gotten your instruction from God yet, don’t lose heart!  He’s working things out on your behalf—OR, He’s waiting for you to get to the place that you are ready for what He has planned—OR, His plan is there, waiting for you to walk into your new space.  Keep going, keep walking, keep trying, keep trusting and have faith, knowing that God is with you!!

He’s been faithful, faithful to me

Looking back, His love and mercy I see

Though in my heart, I have questioned

Even failed to believe

That He’s been faithful, faithful to me.

ONWARD

#keepthefaith

#BUTGod

#keepgoing

#realChristiantalk

Staying Focused

When God is on your side, your life is different.  That doesn't mean it's easy, that doesn't mean that there won't be struggle, or waiting, or tests, or disappointments...well, I think you get what I'm saying...

I can truly say that even in my worst times, I never once felt that God wasn't with me.  There were days when all I could say was: ohGodohGodohGodohGodohGod...
It's during these times that I eventually just release, relax and let go.  There's nothing I can do--I have no answers an no results, so I have to let go.  We're allowed to feel frustrated and hurt and tired--what we can't do is let it defeat us!!

I realize that my life isn't about me.  My life is a testimony of Gods goodness and how He takes care of His Children--He is forever faithful; it's the ONLY reason that I keep moving.

Focus on the goodness and keeping power of God.  He didn't bring you to this point in your life to drop you or keep you from getting through.  Put one foot in front of the other and keep your focus on God!
ONWARD
#yourlifeaintaboutyou
#keepgoing

"But if not, God is still good."

17 If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.
18 But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.  -- Daniel 3:17, 18

King Nebuchadnezzar decided to put up a large golden image to be worshipped by all of the people.  An idol selected and created at the instruction of the King.  The people gathered in from of the idol and when the music began to play, everyone was to bow and worship the idol.  The Three Hebrew Boys: Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednigo were discovered standing and not worshipping in the midst of all the worshippers.  They were brought to the King and were told that if they didn't bow, they would be thrown in the fiery furnace.  We know the story--while they respected the King, they would not worship anyone other than the one true God and even if they weren't saved from the furnace they will still believe in Him--so while they were thrown in the furnace, God was with them and they were not consumed and the King recognized the power of the one true God!

We sometimes find ourselves in trials and struggles that will only be fixed if we allow ourselves to compromise what we know God has told us to do or NOT to do.  When we compromise, one of two things happen:  we transform, losing sight of God, or we say no and go through the storm, holding on to God with all our might.

I'm not saying that when we say yes to God that everything will come as we ask in our time--what I AM saying is that sometimes we have to just rest in God, knowing that He has us while we go through.

It's a struggle sometimes, just in the "going through", but just like the Three Hebrew Boys, no matter WHAT comes my way, no matter how dark my days might get, no matter the silence I might encounter waiting for God to come through, He is STILL good, I will STILL be faithful and trust in Him; but if God says NO or if I never come out of my storm, GOD IS STILL GOOD.
ONWARD
#GodIS
#ShoutingTime
#RealChristianTalk
#SometimesItJustAintAboutYou

Got Envy?

Since my life took an entrepreneurial turn, I have often found myself wishing for and even at various times begging for ANY kind of job.  I also find myself looking back to when I had a job and could take care of all that needed to be taken care of in my life and for my family.  It was the part of being an adult I loved the most--handling my business and helping others when they needed.

This time in my life, though it has been the most rewarding in the lives I have touched and the impact my words, actions and songs have had, has been the most difficult because I often find myself assessing my situation based on the worlds' standards; so I find myself struggling with ENVY.

The definition of envy is: a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.  While I don't openly show discontent or covet others, I do continually go back to a time when I "had" what everyone else had.  It never occurred to me that what I had been feeling was envy, because it's ME--how do you envy yourself??  It's when you continually compare when life was easy to your struggles now and start to beat yourself up about it.

So how do we get rid of this way of thinking?  How does one look back without resentment or where they are now and continue to walk the path before them?

I have to continually stay in the word and stay prayed up.  When I'm not in the word, these kind of destructive thoughts enter my head and make it difficult for me to even get up!  Find some texts to start your day and keep moving!

I leave you with this:  Romans 8:28 -- And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.  God knows, cares and is in control of where we are at ANY given point.  We can't be concerned about what we have or don't have; all we can do is pray and put one foot in front of the other!!  Got Envy?  Shake it off!!!
ONWARD
#biggirlbigboytalk
#TheChristianlifeaintaneasylife
#TheChristianlifeisaDOABLElife

Get your Ph.D.

“I have an MBA”.  It’s a statement that I’ve carried with me as a badge of honor and the most defining moment in my life.  I always thought that it would put me in an august group at a higher level than where I had been.  I believed it would give me financial security and a position of importance, busting through the ‘Glass Ceiling’ that people always put in front of women.  My plan was to then get a Ph.D. and gain a Tenured Professorship at a University, making it impossible to ever have to worry about a job ever again.  I had no doubts that I would get there in time.  You see, I believed that education was the key to being financially stable and comfortable—and that was most important to me.  At the same time, I believed in God and trusted that He had my best interests at heart.  I wanted to live within God’s will and that always seemed to go against the side of me that wanted to do well and be a success.  I saw that His way was the only way—though sometimes that meant doing things that people didn’t understand.

When God takes things away, says no, or places you in unfamiliar territory, you have to fight the feeling that you’re being punished or that you have no value.  That’s never His reason.  Think about how you discipline your children—if you don’t have children, think of when you were disciplined for a specific reason.  A good parent provides learning experiences in the form of consequences.  There are things that a child chooses to do that can cause either positive or negative results.  In those times, it is the parents’ job to help the child understand the results of their behavior and teach them to do right.  Not only will God use the things that we do to teach and train us, He will also take situations in which we had no control to strengthen us and give us the ability to withstand what’s to come.  Thankfully, He knows our entire journey and will guide us, if we let Him.

God’s intent has always been for me to minister to others.  I’ve always fought it, thinking I wasn’t “good” enough.  I thought that since there were so many others out there, how would I be able to make any kind of difference—and would anyone respect and believe in my ability?  I instead put my efforts into being a good worker, striving to make my way up the career ladder—though I never really had a career in mind, which I’ve recently discovered is because it really wasn’t to be my lot and that ministry was…

...So my statement and educational level has now changed.  I have a Ph.D.:  Patiencehumility.Devotion.  God has blessed me to endure this journey of education by training me to have Patience to understand that when I walk through the valley, though I might not know where I’m going, God knows, and that MUST be enough; humility to not feel bad about my lack or inability to obtain the things that I feel I deserve and not beat myself up, but recognize that God is more important than my wants; and Devotion to the God I serve—no matter what happens (or doesn’t happen) to me, that I believe God and know that He’s got me.

Oh, don’t get me wrong—I’m human and get down every once in a while, but I always come back to my reality and education, which never fail me.

Get your Ph.D.  You’ll never be the same.

ONWARD

#Gettherighteducation

#Ph.D.

Favor in the Midst

Do you REALLY count your blessings?  Sure, we are grateful when God comes through on some concern or prayer we might have shared with Him, but what about those times when we're struggling in the midst of trial?  While God is saying "no" or "wait", He is saying "I'm with you".  How do I know?  I experience it every time I go through.

Sure, life can be a big question mark at times and you can find yourself in a space and time with no real direction.  In that time, pay attention:  God is showing you favor--and I mean more than a roof, food, and other things you already have.

God blesses us and sometimes we're so focused on what we're praying for and so overwhelmed by what is in front of us, that we forget that God is with us and is not punishing us.  He is growing us an stretching us--and while this process is happening, He sends favor!  Do you see it, or do you spend all of your time agonizing over your troubles?!?!

I can't deny that I sometimes get caught up in my question mark space; but when I sit down, shut up and think about it, I KNOW that God is control and that I'm on the right track!

Hang in there, my friends!!  Gods got you and is favoring you RIGHT NOW!!
ONWARD

One Day at a Time

How do you live your life? 

I am a planner--I used to always have a plan of attack to get through everything I had to do.  I looked forward by week, month, few months to year and onward...if I was hit with something unexpected, I could stop, reassess and make adjustments when necessary.  I believed that was a gift God gave me and I used it to the best of my ability.  I used to say "I ALWAYS have a Plan B"...

Then I lost my job 4 years ago.  I had no warning and wasn't even given the opportunity to say goodbye to my staff or my students.  I took a few months and poured my heart and soul into my 1st CD and getting healthy and fit (Plan B).  A few months later, I was given a part time job and started feverishly searching for a full time job...I pushed to get a job that made me compromise my religious beliefs and found myself having to leave within 6 months...I was given another job, only to have that one end within 6 months...where was my Plan B? 

My whole person was called into question...until God sent word through various messages that I'd been doing it all wrong.  As a Christian, it's best to live DAILY.  Thanking Him for waking us up and for the blessings of the day.  It's not our job to be concerned about tomorrow.  It's our job to focus on our TODAY.

It's a new day for me.  I'm having to relearn being Lynda.  No longer focusing on preparing my "Plan B" but "Plan Today". 

We must allow God to show that He IS God.  I KNOW He's taken care of me and my concerns in the past, so I MUST be certain that He won't leave me now!!!

I was taught a phrase over the weekend:  YOUVE GOT TO SEE IT BEFORE YOU SEE IT IN ORDER TO SEE IT!!!!!

Prayer and Faith have transformative power!!!!  Try it and watch God!!!
ONWARD
#FAITH
#BUTGod

My Survivor Story

As we near the end of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I feel it necessary to comment on my experience:

It was May of 2001--I had found a lump (about the size of a lime...yeah it was big) and went to my doctor...not something I took the time to do.  My sons were aged 5 and 10, I was working full-time, had a home to care for and a marriage that I was trying to make work...I never took the time for myself or even deal with the many stressors I had endured (the year before, I found out about my husbands daughter that was born during our marriage).  I had a mammogram (back then, the experts suggested to have the first one at age 40; I was 36) and sonogram.  During the sonogram, everyone said that it was probably benign because of the size, so I believed him.

The doctor said that the tumor was too big to let stay in and biopsy; my surgery was arranged to remove the tumor and then biopsy it.  I had the surgery and after 2 weeks at home, went back to work--yeah, it was a true surgery, but I knew I needed to get back to work as soon as possible, so I went earlier than I should.  The following week, the doctors office left a message for me to call them.  I forgot about it; until they called my office.  The doctor got on the phone and begin to say, "you have stage 2 cancer...we need to bring you back in to cut around the first incision, test it, and do a body scan to ensure that it hasn't spread.  We need to schedule your next surgery within the next week--the hospital will be calling to give you the date and time."

Stunned isn't a good enough word.  I know I scared my co-workers because I was so calm; everyone wanted to drive me home.  I mechanically told everyone I needed to--my boss, the office administrator--and I went home.  I called my husband and my dad and crawled into the bed.  I just couldn't believe what was happening.  I had only been to the hospital to have children and in a matter of 2 months I would have 2 surgeries.  The body scan showed that it hadn't spread and my lymph nodes were clear.

I had my final surgery (a reduction) in September--there was a wait of about 3 months.  During that time, I wanted to maintain a level of normalcy for my kids and me.  I didn't want to carry the weight of the possibility of being sick.  I didn't want to consider what would happen if things had been worse. 

All I kept thinking during that time was that God had me and my boys.  I had the faith to believe that even if I had to endure hospital stays, physical therapy or any other events, He would see me through it.  The pain at time was unbearable--I stayed drugged up early in the process; but when going through surgery, some pain is expected in order to heal.

I used to think:  What is the outcome of going through?  What is the reason I went through all of this?  Now, 13 years later, I realize that God allows us to endure for many reasons:  to share with others, to be an example of how to endure, to teach/guide/direct others, etc.  I think for me, it's all of the above.  God has blessed me to come through this and so many other "events" in my life and I can do nothing but praise him for the strength and even for the shoulder to lean on and for His carrying me when I just didn't have it in me to deal.

I'm grateful for the life God has selected me to live.  I continue to strive to do His will and pray that I'm walking in His way.
#praisingHimforstrength
#lookingbackandmovingforward

Stop beating yourself up!!

What a blessing it is to sing Christian music in all types of situations and all types of events!!  Not only do I get the chance to meet different people and have new experiences, the inspiring words that I regularly receive from the sermons, speeches and comments in these various settings have continued to give me strength to keep moving in this awkward, uncomfortable and sometimes just plain scary time in my life.

I remember being thrust into the world of adulthood and never really took the time to consider what was going on with retrospection to learn and move on--I have been one of those who move forward and just get it done.  It works and is very effective, but in not looking at and considering what has been makes for a stress level that is like no other.

I have lived with the stress of being perfect--I've wrestled and struggled with trying to do everything to appear perfect in appearance and whatever job or duty I have been given.  The problem is that I NEVER measure up to MY OWN expectations; so I would continually beat myself up over many aspects of my life, including this new phase in my life that is completely non-traditional and against the family's "Good Goverment Worker" lifestyle.

Have you ever read in the Bible where God says we should be perfect?  If you've seen it, tell me, because I haven't!!  Also, does God or anyone else in the Bible state that there are any material things that will elevate you or consider you to be a success or worthy?

Guilt, unrealistic perfection, perceived failure based solely on loss...too many things bring us down that have NOTHING to do with what God says about what we should do in His word!!!

We need to refocus our attention on what God says instead of what we think or the perceived thoughts and even words spoken by others!!!

Look for Gods validations...they will see you through and keep you going!!
ONWARD
#weareALLasuccess
#Godisblessingandopeningdoorsrightnow

Needs

God promises to supply our needs.  Unfortunately, our wants get muddled in with our needs, so that when blessings come or continue, we don’t recognize them.

I’ve been underemployed for over 4 years now.  For a woman like me, this can be debilitating-ly depressing.  Fortunately, as a child of God, I have been able to recognize how God has blessed me in providing my needs so much during this time that I can’t really complain!  God has allowed my children to continue their Christian education by attending Adventist Boarding Academy and Adventist Universities, He blessed me with the opportunity to live my dream of music ministry—including my first CD, He gave me the impetus to work on becoming physically fit, He honored me by sending someone who loves me for me, and He blessed me from the beginning with a supportive, accepting and loving family. I could share so much more, but it would take pages and pages!!

You have to recognize that God WILL take care of your needs and have the FAITH to endure what’s in front of you.  Most of the time, there is no way to know how things will work out—and at some point, you will have to be okay with that!!!  You will also need to pay attention to what is really going on.  Sometimes, we spend so much time agonizing over our circumstances that we miss out on what God is already doing. Sure, I could focus on the hurtful, disappointing and tragic things that I’ve experienced over the years, but what would that do?  It would keep you bitter, making it difficult to be happy with ANYTHING; it would make you gun-shy, removing any ability to move forward; it would eliminate your ability to see the blessings that God is giving you, even in the midst; and it would surely take away some blessings that if you had opened your eyes, you would’ve seen were right in front of you!!

See the blessings in front of you—they might not be in your wants category, but they will probably be in your needs category!!  God WILL supply ALL your needs, according to HIS riches in glory!!

ONWARD!!

#Igotashoutinmyspirit

Getting past the Fear

How does one convince themselves to do something uncomfortable? How do you get past your fear of what could happen and come through to the other side and achieve the success you so desire? I have often found myself frozen to the fear of what could happen--not sure of the outcome and thinking it will not come out the way I had hoped or even return a positive outcome. 

The reality is that there is something that God has placed in each of us to do, to achieve, to succeed. We just need to recognize it and go forward. We must at least try--what happens if you try? What does it mean to fail? Does failure mean that you can't try again? What is it that makes the successful strive, even when others and resources say they can't? 

Some call it courage, others call it determination, will, desire...whatever you want to call it, that's what you must find in yourself. What it will take is the willingness to go past any feelings of fear or of failure. What we all need is the courage to fail, to trip, to endure hiccups...these are all learning opportunities that will move us forward to our desired goals or Gods intended calling for our lives. 

Get up!! If you get knocked down, get up again!! If you trip, stumble, but keep moving!! If you are overwhelmed, pray, take a rest, then get up and get at it again!!!! Never allow fear to cloud your view of what could be!! Know that God NEVER makes mistakes, so wouldn't that include YOU??? In you, there are strengths and gifts that God hasn't even shown you because He knows you must be ready for them--there is no room for your fear in the places that God wants to take you!!

Get courage!! Get determination!! Get will!!!!!! God is waiting...get ready!!!!

Onward!

Digging Deeper!!

I’ve been in a period of digging.  Digging deep to find out why I spend more time talking down on myself and cheering on and motivating others.  I’m doing this because over 3 years ago, I went through a weight loss journey and lost about 45 pounds.  My goal was actually closer to 80 pounds, but I started saying that the size I got to was good and that I was going to “play” there—buy smaller clothes, eat what I wanted, not workout the same way I had done before.  I had decided that since I was not in a 9 to 5 situation, I would focus on providing others the ability to finally get fit.  I went to class and started the process of working toward my personal training certification.  I remember freaking out every class because I was looking around and it seemed that everyone else was more fit than me and at it longer than me.  I was discouraged on a regular basis and it affected my studying to prepare for the test.  Needless to say, I didn’t pass the test and then convinced myself that it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing.  I also put about 25 pounds back on and while I was still smaller, I had allowed myself to not reach my actual goal.  This is not the first time something like this has happened.  I just didn’t really understand or realize what I had been doing to myself…until now.

So I was looking back over my life and I remember even in my teen years doing the negative self-talk.  I regularly convinced myself that I couldn’t do certain things or would make rash decisions, thinking I couldn’t get any better. 

I’m actually a very positive person.  I see the glass half full, even when it’s EMPTY.  But when it comes to me, I have been my worst enemy!!  Why do we do these things to ourselves?  I think it has been the “Christian thing” to never brag or see yourself in a positive light.  It’s a form of humility that is supposed to ensure that we never see ourselves better than anyone else.  I get that and recognize that my skills and talents are due to the favor of God; but I kind of took that thinking and focused my attention on taking myself down a notch on a regular basis.  My looks, my body, my abilities…you name it, I did it!!  I have even compared myself to others—in magazines, the internet, walking down the street…ugh!!

What we have to realize is that it’s okay for us to be positive and believe that we CAN.  It doesn’t take any less humility as long as we understand where it comes from.  I have even gone as far as to feel guilty for the person I am and for having the talents that I have.  Yeah, that has to stop.

The thing is this:  when we spend more time telling ourselves what we can’t do than what we can, we’re really telling GOD what He can’t do within US!  I can no longer contradict my desire to be God’s mouthpiece if I tell myself that I can’t do it or can't do it as well as others, whatever IT is!!!

So how do we get past this way of thinking?  What I’ve started to do is change the way I think.  I’ve stopped following up any positive thinking and comparisons with bad thinking and unbelief.  I spend more time talking about what I CAN and WILL…no more negative for me!!!

Getting back to the weight loss…I’m back on track and won’t look back.  I’m also going to look into another personal training certification—it’s really my love and I know that I’m the best person to work with people:  I’ve been heavy and I know what it’s like to try.

It is important to your well-being to continually be positive and believe.  Believe that you CAN.  Believe that you WILL.  KNOW that it is possible—THEN JUST DO IT!!

Onward!!

Fight your Fear!!

For a while, I’ve been in a kind of state of waiting—a suspended animation, if you will.  I wasn’t sure why…until now.

I’ve always been someone who tried to be like everyone else:  get the job, work the job—reap the financial benefits and be happy with that.  Well, that would always work for a while, at least until I learned the job so well that I could do it with my eyes closed.  I would become bored, looking for the next thing to do.  The randomness of the job would be agonizing for me!!  The hard part is that no one around me would understand.   I would go to other departments and learn what they do, become friends with people in other sections to gain a new experience and fight the boredom.  It was great when I could go to a boss and ask for more work or could become involved in a special project; I could sink my teeth into something new.  It was cool, for a while, but it would never be enough.  I would have singing gigs and while they were great too, I always thought I could be doing more.

Fast forward to now.  All of those times that I was dealing with a job, I connected myself to what I was doing and took pride in my ability to learn and do a job very well.  I missed the fact that I was compiling a set of usable skills that would invariably intimidate bosses, fellow co-workers and even resume reviewers.  Since losing my job in 2010, I have fought internally with the feeling of needing the security of a “regular” job and then the pull (from God) to do much more. 

I remember every interview I had I would be asked “what is it you want to do?”  I said “I want to make a difference”—as the years went on, it became apparent that my thought of “making a difference” might not be fully understood.   The reality is that God has been speaking to me since 2010 telling me that all of the skills, abilities and even my MBA have been given to me to use—ALL OF THEM.  I have been given an open field of opportunity to do whatever I can to “Make a Difference”. 

Since I always thought differently, I’ve spent a lot of time beating myself up and holding myself back from my calling because of it.  I’ve been living in a state of fear—not knowing why or how to get out of it.  Now I know how and why.  The fear of failure can keep a person from so many blessings.  It can also change the view of your value, your skill and your special-ness.  It makes you defensive and full of excuses as to why you “can’t”. 

Thanks to a loving “push” from my love and continual validations from God, I have begun a process of plowing through—retraining my brain to accept that I have many things to offer, make detailed plans instead of just wishes, and walk in the new reality of FEARLESSNESS.  How is all this possible?  It starts when you choose to not be fearful and you determine that your thoughts considering yourself will be positive—I have been an expert at motivating, mentoring, cheering on, and valuing others, but I’ve been horrible at doing the same thing for myself.  I thought it was just the way it was…clearly, I was misinformed!!

The thing is, you can be told by the world that you have value, but until you value yourself it won’t become your reality!  So over time, I have developed a few opportunities to utilize all that I have to offer.  I held myself back, not sure that any of them would be acceptable because I wasn’t thinking specifically what I could do to help.  I’m now rethinking how best to present my skills to my new clients and am setting up my plans and goals to move forward!!

Allow God to lead you to your calling.  Know that it will probably be out of the box, out of the norm and out of your comfort zone.  However, it WILL be what you love and you will find yourself personally fulfilled!! 

Onward!

Giving God ALL

When we have a relationship with God, what does that mean?  For me, it meant praising him, worshipping him, thanking him, sharing with him, giving him my burdens...you know, the typical stuff we all do.

So why do so many of us still fight with worry, disappointment, and failure?  It's because we STILL don't have a complete relationship in him. It was so easy when we were kids.  We went to God about EVERYTHING!!!  Adulthood happens and our relationship with him flips to this cursory mess of only things we are willing to either give over or deal with.

I realize that I hold onto what I believe are personal failures--sickness, stress, not reaching goals, failed marriage, not being able to do enough for my kids, losing jobs, my music ministry not expanding enough, being a divorcee in the church...yeah, the list is pretty extensive.  I've been studying and reading and the thought came to me through reading a book called "The Shack":  When did God EVER call ANYONE a failure?  If God is a God of love, wouldn't he love you even during a bad time--whether it was your fault or not?  If we believe God to be our "Father" and we as parents still love our children even when they make a mistake, we need to understand that he still loves us when times have taken a turn.

Give God what you've seen as your failures.  Release yourself from all of that hurt, hiding, remorse and disappointment in yourself.  I just did--and it's an amazing feeling!

Onward!

Is God Really Silent?

God has opened a new door for you and you follow his leadings...once you leave what's familiar there can seem like a famine--God might even be quiet during this time, which can lead you to second guess the choice to change.  Don't fall prey to this feeling!!  Now is the time to get closer to God.  He is affording you the opportunity to lean solely on Him.  There is a human tendency to feel down or depressed during this time, thinking God has forgotten about you.  Be clear:  He hasn't!!!  Quite the opposite!  I've found that these times in my life have strengthened my faith in God and my trust in him!!  I fully believe that God is forever with me--leading and guiding me!!!  Not everyone understands my journey, but I know for sure that God has been with me the whole time!!!  When I have moments of wondering if God is still there, I think back to other times in my life where He's brought me through a storm...I also think this way:  "God wouldn't bring you to a space in life to then leave you to walk it by yourself--the well know phrase "if He brings you to it, He'll see you through it" is so very true!  When God becomes "silent", it only means He's preparing you or setting up your situation for you!  This is the time excited!!  Your time is coming!!  Get ready!!!

Onward!

Just Do You

I have always loved being creative.  I write, sing, sew, craft, crochet, cook--I gain enjoyment from creating something from nothing or putting my spin on something existing.  For many years, though, I didn't do any of those things (believe it or not, there was a time when I didn't sing AT ALL...those who know me KNOW this was an insane time in my life!!!) and I found myself floundering, just existing.  The reality is that our skills, abilities, talents and gifts are who we are.  I spent too much time looking at other people who were nothing like me and comparing myself, and never finding myself at an equal with ANYONE.  I AM WHO I AM and we should ALL feel completely accepting and comfortable with who we are.  So, who are you?  What are your skills, abilities, talents and gifts?  How long has it been since you've used them and why?  I promise that if you start doing what you love again, it will put you in a space of confidence, contentment and will release you to becoming you again!!! 

Is Vengeance Our Job, Or God's?

I told a couple of friends one day that I would never physically fight another woman for my man.  They both said “I would”.  Now, I’m not saying they are wrong and I’m right, but when it comes to forms of vengeance, I’m a firm believer that “Vengeance is the Lord’s”.  Do I like it?  Not all the time.  Sometimes it even feels like I’m being punished for doing what I believe is right.

Early on in my marriage, I found out that I had been betrayed by not just a friend from church, but a childhood friend that I considered to be the closest person in my extended family.  In later years, a child was born, connecting me to this person in a way I never expected or wanted.   I felt the extreme pain of hurt, disappointment, confusion and loss.  Did I ever feel like hurting her in return or “telling her off”?  No.  Now, you might not believe me, but it’s true.  I spent the latter parts of my marriage trying to do what was right, even for her and her child.  Though the marriage ended (for other reasons), I believe that I still did what I was supposed to do for all involved.  

Prayer and continual talking (and listening) to God were my behaviors during that time.  Did I get mad?  Yeah—my ex will tell you that.  Did I act on my anger?  No—in fact, I worked harder to accept what was going on.  You see, when God puts you in a situation, there is no time for focusing on what it’s doing to you.  It’s all about working through and getting to the other side.  Was it hard?  IT WAS THE HARDEST THING I HAD EVER DONE IN MY LIFE.  My human side kept fighting to get out…I was so stressed during that time.  But I knew that God would take care of everything I was going through and we would be alright.  Even in the loss of the friend and eventually my marriage, I felt God was with me and I rested in His arms.  During that time, my faith was strengthened to the point that I found that I didn’t need to handle the rough stuff—God would be there to give me peace.  That’s all vengeance is anyway, isn’t it?  Trying to grab back some peace in the midst of your storm.  Well, what if I told you that you could experience peace before, during AND after your storm?  The answer is this:  GIVE IT ALL OVER TO GOD.  He CAN and WILL handle all of it.

Am I saying that you need to go through life and be taken advantage of and never tell someone that they hurt you?  No—I’ve had those conversations and will tell someone in a minute if I feel I’ve been wronged.  But that’s all I’ve ever done.  The rest isn’t my job, nor is it my business to know if someone paid for what they did.

For those of you who are church goers—would you fight someone who stood in the way of your being with the person you love?  Would you go off on someone who betrayed you in some way?  Do you feel that your form of justice is fair and would God be pleased with your behavior?  I offer you a better way.  Go to God, give Him your burdens, your hurts, and your pain.  THEN WATCH HIM WORK!!!!

ONWARD!!!

Where is your Faith?

There have been many times in my life where I proposed to set up my “Plan B” or “Backup Plan” when things didn’t go as planned.  Sometimes, I would pray first, but other times I would just move forward “Bull in China Shop”-Style!  This would have good and not so good results.  The bible has many instances of following God’s will versus ours.  One in particular is the Widow and her son who had enough food left for one meal.  It was the plan of the Widow to make the last loaf of bread and then she and her son would eventually die of starvation.  It was her final plan—she had run out of other resources, or so she thought.  As she was gathering the last ingredients for their last meal, she met up with the Prophet Elisha, who had been told earlier by God that he would be fed by a Widow woman and for him to go…yeah, just GO.  God gave him the path, but not the actual city or name of the woman.

When he encountered the Widow woman, he did not know she was in the process of preparing to fix what they believed to be their last meal, until he asked her to fix him some food.  Now, as a mother, it is my first thought to care for my children and I can become pretty defiant in defense of them!  I would assume that this mother was no different.  However, when Elisha asked her for some food, she did state that it was to be their last meal, but that she would make the meal for him.

We often are faced with insurmountable odds—at least, that’s what we think they are.  Sometimes, these instances are just opportunities for God to develop and increase our faith.  Circumstances that seem impossible to overcome are just hiccups to God and with time, allow us to increase our faith.  As we know, when the Widow made the meal for Elisha, God provided that from that point, her grain container would never empty!!  How many opportunities have we had fizzle because we didn’t have enough faith to see them through?  How many blessings have been lost because we thought the task was too hard because we couldn’t see past the task?

Check your faith.  If you are in a difficult space in life and you have no answer to fix it, give it to God.  Then open your mind to receive what God has for you.  He wants to bring you through it—you only need to hold to your faith, trust and believe, then WALK IN IT.  It may not make sense to you, but remember God’s ways are NOT our ways, so it’s okay.  Walk in your faith.  I promise you’ll never be the same.

ONWARD!!