Digging Deeper!!

I’ve been in a period of digging.  Digging deep to find out why I spend more time talking down on myself and cheering on and motivating others.  I’m doing this because over 3 years ago, I went through a weight loss journey and lost about 45 pounds.  My goal was actually closer to 80 pounds, but I started saying that the size I got to was good and that I was going to “play” there—buy smaller clothes, eat what I wanted, not workout the same way I had done before.  I had decided that since I was not in a 9 to 5 situation, I would focus on providing others the ability to finally get fit.  I went to class and started the process of working toward my personal training certification.  I remember freaking out every class because I was looking around and it seemed that everyone else was more fit than me and at it longer than me.  I was discouraged on a regular basis and it affected my studying to prepare for the test.  Needless to say, I didn’t pass the test and then convinced myself that it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing.  I also put about 25 pounds back on and while I was still smaller, I had allowed myself to not reach my actual goal.  This is not the first time something like this has happened.  I just didn’t really understand or realize what I had been doing to myself…until now.

So I was looking back over my life and I remember even in my teen years doing the negative self-talk.  I regularly convinced myself that I couldn’t do certain things or would make rash decisions, thinking I couldn’t get any better. 

I’m actually a very positive person.  I see the glass half full, even when it’s EMPTY.  But when it comes to me, I have been my worst enemy!!  Why do we do these things to ourselves?  I think it has been the “Christian thing” to never brag or see yourself in a positive light.  It’s a form of humility that is supposed to ensure that we never see ourselves better than anyone else.  I get that and recognize that my skills and talents are due to the favor of God; but I kind of took that thinking and focused my attention on taking myself down a notch on a regular basis.  My looks, my body, my abilities…you name it, I did it!!  I have even compared myself to others—in magazines, the internet, walking down the street…ugh!!

What we have to realize is that it’s okay for us to be positive and believe that we CAN.  It doesn’t take any less humility as long as we understand where it comes from.  I have even gone as far as to feel guilty for the person I am and for having the talents that I have.  Yeah, that has to stop.

The thing is this:  when we spend more time telling ourselves what we can’t do than what we can, we’re really telling GOD what He can’t do within US!  I can no longer contradict my desire to be God’s mouthpiece if I tell myself that I can’t do it or can't do it as well as others, whatever IT is!!!

So how do we get past this way of thinking?  What I’ve started to do is change the way I think.  I’ve stopped following up any positive thinking and comparisons with bad thinking and unbelief.  I spend more time talking about what I CAN and WILL…no more negative for me!!!

Getting back to the weight loss…I’m back on track and won’t look back.  I’m also going to look into another personal training certification—it’s really my love and I know that I’m the best person to work with people:  I’ve been heavy and I know what it’s like to try.

It is important to your well-being to continually be positive and believe.  Believe that you CAN.  Believe that you WILL.  KNOW that it is possible—THEN JUST DO IT!!

Onward!!