Same Outcome, New Reaction!!

“When I first came to you, dear brothers and sisters, I didn’t use lofty words and impressive wisdom to tell you God’s secret plan. For I decided that while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified. I came to you in weakness—timid and trembling. And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God. Yet when I am among mature believers, I do speak with words of wisdom, but not the kind of wisdom that belongs to this world or to the rulers of this world, who are soon forgotten. No, the wisdom we speak of is the mystery of God —his plan that was previously hidden, even though he made it for our ultimate glory before the world began. But the rulers of this world have not understood it; if they had, they would not have crucified our glorious Lord. That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭2:1-13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I was an "okay" student in high school--got on the honor roll my last quarter due to taking 4 electives...I was PUMPED!!!! Then I went to a Christian college and found 5 groups to sing in...needless to say, my grades took the hit--I got my first F in Pre-Algebra. I took the class the next semester with the same teacher, the same work and similar tests...I pulled the grade up because I knew what to expect the second time around.

I was laid off last Thursday. While I was disappointed and down for a minute, I felt God say, "it's time. This was only for you for a short time."

I am here on my last official day because the last time I was laid off, I didn't have the ability to say goodbye to my staff or students. Knowing that God is in control, I can say goodbye and help ease the pain here at the campus for staff and students. Today, I have the chance to hug, talk to, play with and listen to the people who have in a short time become family. Today, I have been validated by the same students and staff and thanked for the work I have done this school year.

The scripture I offered for my worship thought (my duty was staff worship every Tuesday, so it was cool for me to be able to do it for the last time today) was 1 Corinthians 2:1-13, focusing on verse 9: No, the wisdom we speak of is the mystery of God —his plan that was previously hidden, even though he made it for our ultimate glory before the world began. But the rulers of this world have not understood it; if they had, they would not have crucified our glorious Lord. That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”

I shared that messages can be very simplistic in nature, based on the maturity and understanding of the people receiving the message. The deeper meaning can only be shared as we grow in our understanding. I recognized that from the beginning of school to now, I understand that my true purpose here was to impart wisdom to as many students as I could for the time I had them--which for some, was literally only a couple of weeks. I know that while I couldn't stay until the end of the school year, I was able to make an impact.

When I went through the first lay off seven years ago, I was crushed and it affected my confidence to the point where I couldn't listen to God's message moving me forward--the only thing that saved me was music. It was safe. Fear took over my ability to continue my career.

Now, I'm filled with a sense of excitement. I'm ready for the challenge of a new environment. I'm able to walk with confidence, knowing God's got a plan for me and I'm so ready to receive. I received awesome validation and appreciation from the staff after my worship, where I encouraged them to stay strong and keep doing what they do for these students. I also told them that I still believe in the vision of The Crossing South Bend and will forever consider myself to be part of the family.

God is great in giving us many different times to learn and I've definitely gotten on the other side of this one!!

When rough times come, don't do like I did the first time and almost give up; do like I did the second time and remain open to the messages God has for you. Let Him grow you! I don't know what's coming, but I DO know that God does!!!!!

ONWARD

#excited

#moretocome

Trusting Blind

It's simply amazing when God brings you up from the valley, toward the mountaintop. If you've read my posts since 2010, you know that life has been interesting for me, to say the least(!). I've been in situations that for some have become insurmountable; yet God continued to keep me going. For a while, I didn't know what I was going toward, but I knew that God had much more for me.

I know that some of you have given up on experiencing your dreams or restoration. It seems that the length of time you've been in the valley has been so long that it is your answer of NO. I lived in that space for a bit off and on...it's a rough place to be; full of doubt, indecision and self-sabotage. As a person who must have something to do...to feel needed and valued...the past 5+ years have been the most difficult in my life and there have been times when I was close to accepting that I would go no further as far as successes...that I would forever be grounded to a complete halt, taking singing gigs here and there and that would be my contribution to society. I was willing; but I felt that I still had so much more to offer!!! It was a rough space, but I tried to keep my trust in God true.

So my last straw was the loss and grief experience of last year which ended in North Carolina. During that time, I felt lost, confused, disappointed and out of favor from God. I spent a good portion of time in a fog of despair. Then one day, I made the conscious decision that I would step toward my future--not knowing what kind of future that would be. For a type-A, Plan A-B-C-D...ZZZZ person like me, this was the scariest thing that I had ever done. The step I took was to "Trust Blind". I came home not knowing what was waiting for me and in my mind, I was coming back a failure. I prayed for a few things: for work and the chance to make a difference, transportation, and a companion. I was thinking pretty small and God took notice. I took my tentative steps and was rewarded over and over. I took a step by offering my services to my Alma Mater--not knowing that they needed a teacher to teach the classes that matched with my educational and work background!! I took another tentative step a few months later and received a vehicle that I would've never imagined I could get after the last financially empty years that I've had!! I took another VERY tentative step and God gave me someone to love, care for, appreciate, and support me!! God is beyond amazing and I thank him for all that He has given me!!

I know I don't deserve, all the good things that He's done,

But He keeps on, He keeps right on,

He keeps right on blessing me!!!

Trusting Blind might not seem like the best way, but I PROMISE you it will turn out to be THE way to get to where God can truly bless you!!!  Trust Him and the process of getting there. You'll NEVER be the same!!

ONWARD

#TrustBlind

#GodsGotIt

Who Are YOU???

Who are you?  I mean REALLY--who are you?  Is the person you are today a result of the things that have happened to you and have beat you down, or is this person a reflection of the person you have intended or now intend to be?  WHO ARE YOU?

So many people get so caught up in becoming accepted by whatever group to which they would like to or belong, that they find themselves acting, looking and talking like the group.  This even (and especially) with significant others.  I have been in relationships where I've literally asked what about me do I need to change for that other person; not recognizing that the RIGHT person will accept whatever makes you, YOU!!!

This is not to say that you should never wear a uniform or be a part of a group; what I'm saying is that in God we are "fearfully and wonderfully made".  We are INDIVIDUALLY SPECIAL and it is not our responsibility to become someone else's vision of who they want us to be.  Even God Himself only asks us to be "like" Him, NOT HIM.  We can't be God, so why are we working so hard to be exactly what someone else thinks we should be?!?!?

There was an over 30-year old man who had endured many plastic surgeries to look like Justin Beiber and even was in the process of recording (though he wasn't a singer).  He believed that because he admired Justin that he should BE Justin.  I know this is an extreme case, but people do it all the time--we lose sight of the beauty of our own individuality because of our insecurities and lack of confidence.  What you will realize is that you will NEVER get to that confident space unless you get back to finding out what truly makes YOU, YOU.

I never really liked being different, because it felt like my differences were why I didn't feel accepted.  When I began opening my mouth to sing as a child, it was discovered that I could harmonize and had a pleasing voice.  I started singing some solos and once I became a teenager, was asked to sing with various singing groups (I was even the youngest singer in some of them).  Well, not everyone was always so happy to see me.  I got attention, solos and fans.  Some folk teased me and talked about me in negative ways behind my back to other friends (who of course told me...smh).  

It was then that I began deflecting compliments.  I wouldn't brag on myself and I wouldn't offer to sing solos in groups.  If it weren't for the Lord setting things in motion, I would've NEVER done my CD, even with the support I had in place.

God is such a wonderful counselor.  He gives such great lessons to us and will bring us to where He can show us who we really are and at that point, He can REALLY use us!!

So who am I?  I'm a music minister with singing and teaching tendencies, mixed with a little Preacha!  I'm a girly-girl who likes to get dressed up and look my best AT ALL TIMES.  I am creative and flexible, with some formal on the side.  I am open-minded, but can be stubborn in my belief system.  Best of all, I'm a Child of God, willing to be used by Him and fully accepting of the lessons He has just for me.

Who are YOU?  If you don't know, start the process of finding out.  If you need some help, inbox me.  Who you are is just SCREAMING to get out!!

ONWARD

Do YOU, with GOD!!!

I had to take a minute and just think about how my life has taken some crazy twists and turns since the latter part of the summer.  I have gone from scared to sad to numb to happy to content to overjoyed.

After all that has happened it would be easy to take a break from life and just go underground.  It would also be easy to give in to whatever insecurities or expectations that others have tried to put on me during this time--I COULD just close down my FB account and give up on people in general.

Those who know me know that I would NEVER do that.  As a child of God, I've been given the gift of His covering and I aim to be in His will--and not anyone else's.  The blessings that have come to me have been without my force, will or even work.  God has placed the right people to bring about the right opportunities to me and I'm soooo grateful!!

Does this mean that my life has all of a sudden become easy? Absolutely NOT.  One of issues with following Gods will is that the blessings He sends are COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!!!  You must be prepared to "fly by the seat of your pants"; but know that when you put your trust in God, knowing He's placed you, the outcome will always be right...not perfect, but RIGHT.

I keep talking about living in Gods will because that's where you find your true self.  It's a place that allows your best self to emerge!

Do YOU--WITH GOD!!!  Have the faith that He can bring you to where your meant to be and set you on a path to make an amazing impact!!

ONWARD

#DoYOU

#trustGodtrusttheprocess

Success???

What do you view as success? How do you gauge the positives in your life? What if the amount of struggles and trials in your life seem to be higher than the positives...does this mean you have not been successful? Does it matter that your life doesn't fit the "normal" status of success in life?

For a long time, I have held on to the notion that as one who has lived what I call a not normal life, it's been difficult to find my way to believing that I am or have been a success. If I base it on the media--absolutely NOT. If I base it on "regular people"--I don't cut the mustard.

I choose to follow the example of a Christian. There are so many stories in the bible of struggle, hardships, and devastating circumstances. The key was that each individual was faced with a set of situations and had to decide whether to try and fix it on their own or give the rights and responsibility over to God. For some, it took longer than others to overcome. For others, a quick, "miracle-like" experience. In all, the notion of success was replaced with a concept of OVERCOMING and VICTORY. 

So--I've decided to see myself not as a successful person, but as an Overcomer; one who claims, accepts and experiences Victory because I give total control of my life to God. I don't have all the answers and right now feel so broken that I'm not even in a tunnel that I can eventually find the light. However, I know that one day, I'll Overcome and will be victorious--because Gods got me.

Don't worry that because you might not look like a success to the world. Strive to be an Overcomer--you ARE Victorious with God!!

ONWARD

#movingforward

#NoneedforsuccessIMANOVERCOMER

Keep Plodding

Some days are harder than others to get through.  When a few of those days string together, it makes one feel like a bull gingerly walking through a narrow aisle china shop!!

Most of the time, it's because of comparison living--it seems that when your life is going rough, EVERYONE ELSE seems to have such wonderful things happening and are living a stable life.  Doesn't that seem to be the case??

I know what some of you are thinking; as a Christian, we can place this kind of thinking in the hands of the evil one as being no more than a distraction.  But sometimes it's hard to see your way past the distraction!!

Taking one step forward, then being pushed back 10 is daunting, discouraging and disappointing.  The best thing seems to just be still and let God take over.  All that you've done prior to your struggles wasn't due to your "skill" and "abilities".  It was ALL God's GRACE AND FAVOR.  We have to let go of this dependence on ourselves and lean solely on God.  "It is HE that hath made us and NOT WE OURSELVES" (Psalm 100:3)

Keep plodding.  God will make it all clear one day.  In the meantime, be okay with hanging out with God for now.  Rest up, 'cause He's preparing you for something!!

ONWARD

Rest.

28 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.
29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
--Isaiah 40:28-31
There are times when there are no answers. There may be times when you think God has forgotten that you have been waiting. It can be devastating to your spirit and give you no hope of getting your breakthrough. You watch and even help others through their period of struggle to see them come through and experience great victory; while you are still in that same space, wondering when your time will be.

Well, I'm not here to impress you with any new found promise to envelop you or gird you with some new found strength. Sometimes it's hard to see through to the other side of the tunnel and it's easier to just lie down in the dark. I FULLY understand.

It's in those moments that God gives you the opportunity to rest in your weakness. He doesn't need any fancy words from you in prayer, he already knows your heart, your pain and your despair. Trust that He is with you, even in your times of discouragement.

Rest. Rest your mind, your heart, and your soul. If you feel guilty about resting, know that guilt is NOT of God. There are many instances in the Bible when He says for us to rest.

Rest is sometimes the best thing you can do when life gets too hard. They say that in order to gain strength, you must get good sleep/rest. Unfortunately, life stresses can often block your ability to get the restorative rest you need. Still take the time to try to rest. God is waiting to comfort you and might even have a message for you that He can only give when you're in rest mode.
Take heart. Know that God is with you. Rest.
ONWARD